glucose this....

So having a baby in this day and age, with all the advances in modern medicine, one would probably consider themselves lucky and blessed right? How often have we heard our moms tell us about there being no epidurals when they were giving birth?

But I haven't been feeling lucky or blessed...instead, I have felt downright rebellious. Why do I feel like boycotting the glucose test that I have to do tomorrow? I did the initial one-hour test last week, and my levels came back high so now I have to do the 3-hour test. I told Jim, "I am going to be so ticked to go sit there for three hours, and get my blood drawn 4 times, just to find out I don't have gestational diabetes." To which he replied, "so are you hoping they discover that you do have gestational diabetes?" Hey, if it would get me induced at 38 weeks, I almost would hope that I have it.

But I keep asking myself...why am I acting so put out about my doctor's appts., my dr.'s advice (anti-induction), and the tests that will monitor my health and my baby's health? I should be thinking "it's a good thing there is a 3-hour glucose test so we can definitely determine whether or not I have a harmful health condition." But instead I'm thinking "this is the biggest waste of time. Why is my stomach so huge? This heartburn is for the birds. How am I going to make it through these last 9 weeks? When did my thighs get so big? If one more person comments on the enormity of my tummy...." and so on and so forth. Maybe my negative attitude is because if you do have gestational diabetes, they don't really do anything for it. There is no medicine to treat it. Your doctor tells you to watch what you eat, and he monitors your blood pressure....but I think that's about it. I was a big talker and said I was going to boycott the glucose test...but my resolve just faded at my last appt. I just felt so defeated by my doctor's indifference to my pleading argument that I just gave up and did the stupid test.

Anyway, just felt like venting. The only plus side to tomorrow's test is I will have 3+ hours to myself to sit and read, and reflect. :) And to not appear completely ungrateful, I am going to mention a few things I actually like about being pregnant (although the list of things I dislike is about 25 lines longer than this one but I'm trying to focus on the positive!).
1. I like feeling the baby move but having no one know. It is like a little secret moment for me and my little babe.
2. I admit it, i like the attention you get. Complete strangers want to talk to you when you're pregnant. I'm shameless I guess, but I like having the check-out ladies at Albertson's want to ask me questions about when I'm due, what gender it is, etc.
3. I love the anticipation of the big moment looming ahead. It is so exciting...even if it is a long time coming. There are just so many things to day-dream about...how your other kids will react, what your babe will look like, what they will grow up to be like, etc. It's funny because as much as I don't like being pregnant, right after i have my babies, I see pregnant women and I'm actually jealous that they still have their "big moment" ahead. And at that point, I'm just tired and fat from having a newborn. :)
4. i love the whole hospital part...perhpas it is because all of my deliveries have been so pleasant, but I'm a delivery junkie. Just moments after Kate was born, I said to Jim, "I can't wait to do this again. I'm so glad this is only the first time!"

And that completes my list. So here's me, raising a bottle of that thick, delicious, orange-flavored glucose, saying "cheers!" to being pregnant!!!