Seemingly innocent, no? But I keep looking at our stockings hung (on the chimney with care :), monogrammed so nicely, and I think who the hell are mom and dad? What, it's me, you say? No, no...surely that is not me. I hear the word "mama", "mommy" and "mom" 427 times a day....and yet, seeing my name officially hung there on my stocking, next to my two kids seems so surreal to me. I swear, I am still 17 years old...not the person responsible for filling those other 3 stockings hung next to mine! Maybe this epiphany is happening this year because it is the first year that Kate has been old enough to actually grasp the holidays/Santa/presents, etc., so everything I do seems so official....like it is setting the standard for the next twenty-some odd years to come.
My sister-in-law Jessica asked me the other day what we do with our Santa presents--do you wrap them, do you just place them unopened under the tree, do you open all the Santa gifts and assemble them and put batteries in them to be played with immediately xmas morning, etc.? I was actually stumped by her question. It bothered me that I had to decide how I was going to handle the Santa gifts, now, this year, to be continued on for the rest of my years as "Santa". I naturally gravitate towards doing it the way my mom did (which was to bring out a few new wrapped presents and put them under the tree for xmas morning, with a tag saying "From Santa" instead of "from mom"). But this plan is apparently flawed, since Jessica pointed out to me that if I wasn't careful to use different wrapping paper, my kids might wonder how Santa and I had the exact same wrapping paper. And for the record, maybe I am retarded but in all my years of believing in Santa, I never once wondered how my mom had the same wrapping paper as Santa! I didn't question it, i just ignorantly accepted it all! :) Bottom line is this--I don't know what I do. The xmas decisions seem overwhelming to me because this year is the first year that I have realized that I am in charge of starting my own family traditions.
And if you know me, I am SO indecisive. When we were looking for homes, and we both liked this one, I didn't want to look at any other houses. Jim kept trying to get me to go look around, but I didn't want to for fear that more choices with different floor plans and landscaping would just confuse me. When I got my kids photos taken professionally a few weeks ago, I sent Jim to pick out all the proofs, and then I chose from the limited selection that he picked out, rather than having to narrow it down from so many different shots and poses. Ordering food at Cheesecake Factory gives me serious anxiety with their 15-page menu--what if I choose my meal, and then get "orders remorse" when I see everyone else's entrees?
But seeing the word "mom" on my stocking has dawned on me that I am the one responsible for figuring out how our little family will celebrate, how I will make the holidays magical for my kids, how I will try to incorporate the gospel into our holiday celebrations, etc. Today someone spoke in sacrament meeting about the traditions her family does that bring the Savior into their holiday celebration. I sat there realizing as of now, we don't have a single one! And no one is going to figure it out but me. But instead of thinking, how exciting! I get to decide whatever I want--I feel overwhelmed and and anxious about it! It's silly, and I know, I can always change tradtions, add new ones, stop doing ones that we don't like....but the best traditions are the long-lasting ones, the ones that never change!
So anyway, enough of my rantings....everyone raise their glasses of egg nog, and let's toast to figuring it all out!
And I thought I would include some of the latest pics of my kids....has anyone seen my babies, because I swear they were just here! These pictures look like I have two children, not tiny little babes!! And let's give a shout out to Jim, a.k.a. Annie Leibowitz, because I believe he took every single one of these photos!
11 comments:
LOVE Kate and Ezra's matching dress and tie! Too cute!
Well, if you read Summer's comments, I too am having the same dilemma. I just don't know if I can try to explain to my logical daughter how it's possible that Santa gets to all the houses on Christmas Eve, has a naughty/nice list, can be at all the malls at the same time, why they all look different, etc. I did explain to her that Santa has all these helpers, blah blah blah... I just can't do it with a straight face because she's already looking at me like, "Yeah right!" I know your Kate will be the same way. So, here's what I decided last year: Santa will fill our stockings - that's it! So she has to be very careful of what she asks him for. For the past several weeks, she's been very observant when we are at different stores to ask me, "Will (input silly toy here) fit in a stocking?" It's pretty funny! Anyway, that way, I feel like she won't be too disappointed when she does find out! Also, she can't pull the, ""Oh yeah, Well, I'll just ask Santa for it!" in a few years. I've explained to her that Mom and Dad have to talk about all of the gifts she will receive and Santa has to talk to us as well. We'll see! I know I'm going to screw up somehow as a parent anyway. Might as well be with Santa not being able to bring her anything that won't fit in a stocking!
P.S. Last year when I decided all this, the poor child only asked Santa for a candy cane, because that's all she could think of fitting in a stocking. This year, she's wised up though, and has asked for a few different movies!
That is funny Jenny...I think my sister's kids don't believe in Santa because I always slip and say stupid stuff like..."I just need to get all of the stocking stuffers and then i will be done with all of my shopping." And they they look at me confused. It is so bad. Ezra is a grown up in his tie, so adorable. Cute pictures.
1. We are going to sing "happy birthday" to Jesus with a cake candles and all. I think it's age appropriate for Tess to make the connection. And I got a nativity scene, finally.
2. I like to have stockings be from Santa and maybe 1 or 2 other things, unrapped with a from santa tag. Make sure you print them in "santa" font so that they won't recognize your hand writting in the future. Sorry, that probably just made you stress out more.
3. Love the kids matching outfits too. But what is up with this santa? His bottom teeth are scary. Have you ever heard of Zoom teeth whitening? Lay off the coffee and cigarettes would you, Santa?
DARLING pictures of your kids--and you are right, they just aren't babies anymore.
We "give Jesus a gift" each day on the twelve days leading up to Christmas by doing little acts of service. I wrap up a little piece of paper that says, "Today give Jesus a gift by coloring Christmas pictures to send to your grandmas." The kids love to unwrap them, and then I feel like I've done my part on the Jesus front.
But the first couple years were hard because it felt like a lot of commitment to start a TRADITION--like something you have to do EVERY year. It's too permanent to be taken lightly.
This was a really well-written post, by the way. I loved reading it . . .
I can't say enough about this post. I want to comment on everything. First of all, amen to the "who the H-E-DOUBLE L is 'Mom'?" I saw your stockings and almost did a double take, wondering why you had stockings for Mom and Dad at your house. Oh, that's right, YOU'RE the mom. How weird! That's how I feel.
I L-O-V-E the pic of Ezra napping in his bed in church clothes. So cute!
Nice copycat on the Children's Place clothes -- did you see my blog with my kids in those clothes?
So UNFAIR that you got such a cute Santa picture! That was exactly what I was envisioning. Sigh. Oh well, maybe next year.
Great post. Got me thinking (and depressing) a little about my own motherly, tradition-setting obligations.
I'm still sad we won't be seeing you cats for Christmas. This is probably the first Christmas we will have missed each other for years (except my mission but that doesn't count, really, you know, it being service for the Lord and all).
p.s. Props to Jim big time. I still can't EVER get Scott to pick up the camera on his own accord.
Are you serious with Ezra's tie! That is so cute. I keep looking at all 5 of our stockings and it is freaking me out. That is a big family! We watched the King is Born video (the animated church videos) and the kids loved it. You can borrow it if you want.
AZ....we never have filled stockings in our house...guess Santa skipped us! my mom never did the whole santa/parents thing. And I don't think any of us ever cared...we just liked getting a lot of presents!
I hope you got all the santa kinks worked out. luckily jack is still clueless...i am a terrible liar!
Some Christmas traditions to avoid:
Running out of gas on the expressway while going to visit Dad at the penitentiary.
Coming home drunk on christmas Eve, falling into the tree which shorts out and catches the house on fire.
To make bath time more festive, little Billy Jo tosses several strings of plugged in christmas lights into the filled bathtub bringing down the entire northeast power grid.
Several neighbourhood pets are mysteriously found flocked and hanging from your garage door.
As a special christmas treat the neighbourhood watch committee decorates your aboondoned car as Santa's sleigh and sets fire to it. The sirens from the converging first responders bring an added celebratory touch to Christmas morning.
You have taken a new job at the cereal factory at the tint checker on the "Count Chocula" line to pay for those expensive christmas gifts.
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